I wouldn’t dream of questioning your visual imagination. On the other hand…
- I see that you’ve created a business card in the middle of a letter-sized page. That’s not what “use white space” means.
- You’ve created your 24-page brochure as 12 separate reader-spread Illustrator files. Bonus points for taking the extra time to convert all your text to outlines. Double points for doing that before spell-checking. We will enjoy billing you for the extra time it will take to correct the copy and break up the files for proper imposition.
- Thanks for creating your brochure in Microsoft Publisher. In prep, we call it something else: Digital Yard Sausage.
- How imaginative of you to create a white reverse heading and two body paragraphs on a black background with a black rectangle and three separate text frames. Is this a new thing—billing by the frame?
- Your template (clearly built by someone else) is full of well-built paragraph and character styles. However, every single paragraph is formatted “Normal+.” You are such a rebel.
- How very efficient of you to crop all of your images to the trim size. How very sad that we will have to bill you for cloning background so the job will have bleed.
- Building your business card as a 52Mb Photoshop file with Smart Objects for the logos demonstrates, well, that you have Photoshop (or, as you always type it in emails, “PhotoShop”). Fun fact #1: Smart Objects render as pixels, regardless of how you save a Photoshop file. Fun fact #2: we could have built that in InDesign in 5 minutes, as opposed to the 6 hours it took you. Fun fact #3: we figured that if you were smart enough to built a business card in Photoshop, you’d be smart enough to build it the wrong size. We were right.
- You will be surprised to know that there is a much easier way to create tables than creating 20 separate text frames and drawing rules with the Pen tool. Maybe next time you’ll at least align the text frames. Probably not.
- Look down at your keyboard. On the left side, there’s a key labeled “tab.” Press it. Now, isn’t that easier than thumbing the spacebar 47 times? By the way, if pressing the tab key doesn’t move text to the desired position, don’t press it again. For the love of civilization, create a tab stop.
- Perhaps you’re creating your artwork on an old IBM Selectric typewriter. That would explain why there are two spaces after every sentence. Just so you know, all the hip kids know to use a single space. But maybe you like that retro look.
More than anything, thanks for all the overtime we’re going to be making this weekend, fixing your files!